Breaking News !!!
Canada to Build Wall on Southern Border!
November 11th, 2016
|Howling at the Moon
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|It's the land of the free...
BECAUSE of the brave.
The Quebec Encule: Due to Donald Trump’s totally unforeseen victory on November 8th, the
flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified, sparking
Canadian calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The Republican Presidential victory is prompting an exodus among left leaning citizens who
fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and live according to conservative ideas about the
Constitution. Last week, alone, no less than 16 "celebrities" vowed to leave the USA if Trump
won this election. Personally, I would like to see Whooppi Goldberg leave first followed by Babs
Streisand, Miley Cyrus, Cher and others who said they want to go.
According to the article, “Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
Hollywood Movie/TV stars, sociology professors, global warming activists, and "green" energy
proponents crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in
the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North
Dakota. “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and
some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to
show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals
scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that broadcast Rush Limbaugh across the fields -
but they just keep coming.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who
meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the
border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the car’s battery dies.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border
patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier, although they did have a
nice little Napa Valley cabernet. And some kale chips."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they
fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to
build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have
been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.
After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration
authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como
and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the
accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, yet somehow know the words to every Beyonce
song, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that these illegal immigrants are creating an organic food
shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies.
"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an
Ottawa resident said. "But, come on! How many art-history or gender studies majors does one
Still, I’d like to give you a “fair share” warning – so, LISTEN UP, LIBERALS!
1. You won't be able to work, and if you are caught you will be deported. They track entry
and exit passport scans, and if you go back and forth too much or stay too long, they will not let
you back in (at their discretion, for despite what you erroneously think to be true here, you have
no "right" of citizenship in Canada, or even access if they choose to exclude you by denying
2. If they let you in, you will spend a small fortune on an immigration lawyer who is likely to
tell you will probably not be approved. It's easy money for their lawyers and good for their
economy, at least until they rule against you and send you back. (Of course, the Canadian
gruberment is likely as corrupt as most others, so for the "celebrities" with plenty of money, you
might be able to by your way in through bribes.)
3. If you're single or polygamous, maybe you can find a Canadian willing to marry you. Try a
Muslim "refugee" if you can't find a native Canadian. For Miley and Katy Perry, once they are in
their burka, no one will know they are Americans.
4. Because there is “gun control” you can rest easy, as government statistics show that
roughly a third of murders are firearm related. On the down side, another third are stabbings,
so you might get carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey, but that’s a small price to pay for not
having dangerous guns around for self-defense.
5. If you do find yourself with a steak knife sticking out of your torso, the “free” healthcare
will be something you can look forward to. If you have a job, you know just how large of a
chunk of your paycheck is taken to providing this free service, but hey, depending upon which
hospital you visit, they may get around to removing your steak knife in a week or two. However,
if complications arise, the government “death benefit” will pay you a lump sum of $2,295.85 to
be planted, if you can find a really good deal on a casket. Unfortunately, you have to contribute
for ten years before you are eligible.
6. Housing will be no problem. Assuming you were totally committed to honoring your
promise, you went ahead and sold your Prius (after removing the Hillary bumper stickers) or, if
you’re a “big Hollywood star,” your eco-friendly Hummer and your other worldly possessions,
and are heading north. Keep in mind that the average price of a house in Vancouver runs
$1,513,800.00, but if that’s out of your price range, you can pick up a deal in Toronto for around
$450.000.00. If you want to save big and rent, and test the whole “Canadian” thing, rent is
around $1,368.00 for a two-bedroom apartment in Vancouver, and in Toronto it costs around
7. And hey liberals: Here’s something you’re sure to like: progressive laws forbid defaming
homosexuals and other “special” people, so you could end up in jail for a non-government
approved joke or opinion. However, as a dyed-in-the-wool liberal, you should be right at home
with the restrictions on speech and thought. Just like what you were trying to do here, you’re
entitled to your own opinion - as long as its government approved.
8. Good news for animal lovers. If you cherish kitty cats and cuddly puppy dogs, but feel that
slaughtering the most helpless creatures on earth is okay, Canada has more laws protecting
animals than it has for innocent baby Canadian humans.
9. By now you’re wondering about food, and if you can maintain your bourgeoisie,
capitalistic, semi-vegan diet of humus, cheese, yogurt, wine, and other delights, the answer is a
resounding “YES”! There is just one little problem: a gallon of good ol’ USA milk runs about
$3.00 while it is upward of $7.00 in the great white north. You can still enjoy eating out, but
expect to pay higher prices as the competition in the capitalist U.S. keeps the prices down here
much lower. If you prefer to eat healthier, it’s only about $1.50 more a day, which works out to
only about $550.00 a year per person.
10. While gas in the states is around $2.25 per gallon, it’s only $1.19 per liter. Wait, my bad --
there are 3.78 liters in a gallon so gas is around $4.50 per gallon. You’ll probably wish you hadn’t
sold your Prius before heading north.
In summary, if you’re serious about leaving, you might consider a crowd funding effort to
help offset your expenses as almost everything in Canada is more costly (and there are a lot of
us “deplorables” who would love to assist you in your transition.) It’s a win-win for you, and
you really can’t put a price on conviction, eh?
For the rank and file Snowflake, good luck. (And good riddance.)
Unfortunately, I know you won't leave, because parasites simply can't live off of other
parasites, they need a productive host to suck nourishment out of. So, you'll hibernate and lick
your wounds for a spell waiting for the nation to rebuild itself from their near annihilation and
then arise to continue your foul destruction.
Hell, I'm still waiting for the first batch of you all from 2000 and 2004 to leave!
I do find it curious, though, that none of you seem to want to move to Cuba, Venezuela or
C'mon! What’s up with that?
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