Dear Meryl and Friends:
First off, let’s get something straight: We don't need you. You need us.
Your only job is to entertain us. That’s it.
You make your living pretending to be someone else; playing dress up like a 6 year old. You
live in a make believe world in front of a camera (and often when you are away from one, too.)
Your entire existence depends on our patronage.
So, if you don’t mind, we’ll turn the crank on the organ - you dance.
You might have all of the finest Hollywood trophies in world, all the nominations from all the
lists, and all the invites from all the groupies hoping to kiss your pompous posteriors, but you
obviously lack one thing: class.
Especially you, Meryl.
At the Golden ‘Let’s Award Ourselves More Stuff’ Showers Awards on Sunday night, you
accepted your Lifetime Achievement award by destroying your lifetime achievements with a
lecture. In the acceptance speech you belched up all the typical liberal talking points,
including “Americans are simpletons who hate foreigners.”
And you wonder why “they vilify us pretty people in Hollywood.”
I’m paraphrasing your remarks, of course. But, you seem to be under the erroneous
impression that us American simpletons must listen to your spoken words with bated breath. I
don’t think so.
Yes, Meryl, despite your successes in Tinseltown, you’re still just a pompous windbag with an
over-inflated sense of self-worth. (By the way, where were you when Obama was spying on
the AP or killing Americans with drones?)
You need to understand, that the reason most people watch any award ceremony is to see
their favorite movie stars all in one place wearing pretty things, adorned in the most revealing
dresses, sparkling jewels, and scoring beautiful arm candy as a date.
They damned sure don’t tune in for leftover stale political commentary that’s already served
by talking heads on PMSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABS and NBS.
And Americans don’t hate foreigners. They hate illegal immigrants invading their country. So
you’re “let’s go around the room and tell everybody where you’re from and what’s your
favorite color” demonstration? Please do it again next year, we have more elections to win.
And those simpletons you called out? They’re all working, contributing members of society
who likely entered the country legally or were already born here. So, what was your point of
trying to draw similarities between your air-headed, glitterati pals and the rule-flouting cretins
who invade our country?
Most of us out here in the real world are lowly working slobs. Americans vilify you and your
cohorts for the very reason you felt the need to lecture us from on high while insulting our
interests. And telling everyone you’re part of a vilified group then later saying “Without us
there’d only be MMA and football” is precisely why you’re vilified.
You may have forgotten this, Meryl, but those same Americans who like football and MMA
purchase movie tickets. Maybe not to your movies, but to others.
Americans like football because it’s competitive. It’s unpredictable. Much the same way as
MMA. We love watching elite athletes compete. You may see such pursuits as barbaric, but I’d
much rather watch someone like Ronda Rousey and Amanda Nunes duke it out for a title
than I would watching you humming to yourself with a toothless man, or schooling Anne
Hathaway on the different shades of blue.
Or lecturing to the rest of America at the Golden Shower awards.
We don’t really care where you stand on issues. You see, you aren’t real. Once we turn off the
TV or shut down the computer, you cease to exist in our world. We can put you back in your
little box until we want you to entertain us again. The only words of yours that matter are
scripted. In our world, you exist solely for our entertainment.
So, shut up and dance, monkey!"
Oh, and if there’s a next time, maybe you could thank us. Just a suggestion from one of those