I R A T E  D O G
Tortured (Patho)Logic

Oh God!   They’re serious aren’t they?!

First, a Nobel Prize for doing absolutely nothing, and now this.

The State of Illinois will be honoring former President Barack Obama by establishing an annual
state holiday in his name.    Illinois Gov. Bruce Rauner, a Republican, signed a bill into law last
Friday to establish August 4th — the same day as Obama’s birthday — as the Prairie State’s
“Barack Obama Day.”    That’s kind of like celebrating Dec 7th, 1941 or September 11th, 2001.

The holiday will be “observed throughout the State as a day set apart to honor the 44th
President of the United States of America who began his career serving the People of Illinois
in both the Illinois State Senate and the United States Senate, and dedicated his life to
protecting the rights of Americans and building bridges across communities,” the bill, Senate
Bill 55, reads.

No Illinois State legislators voted against the bill, either in the state’s House or Senate.

Illinois is cutting state pension benefits because they’re bankrupt!   They can’t pass a
budget!   They can’t even pay out winners of their local lotteries!!    The Chicago Public School
system is failing, the teachers pensions are being slashed!   Illinois taxes are rising like a
Saturn 5 rocket - just like the Illinois welfare rolls.   Businesses are leaving the state in droves!

So, yeah, this is EXACTLY what the “lawmakers” of Illinois need to be focused on – a “holiday”
for a pathological liar. Yes.   That seems logical – or at least pathological.   Maybe –just
MAYBE- they should actually try to govern and use their time wisely instead of voting on this
crap!

What’s even worse is that Democrats tried to make the holiday a legal one, which would have
forced state organizations and schools to close.   The idea behind a legal state holiday failed
after some state lawmakers raised concerns that other Illinois presidents with state holidays,
like former President Ronald Reagan - who is the ONLY President to have actually been born
in Illinois - have a commemorative holiday only.   

Plus, there were concerns over the economic impact closing the state every August 4th would
have.   So, it’s a commemorative holiday only – for now.   The holiday will be celebrated
annually beginning in 2018.

Woo Hoo!   One day a year, where everyone can go sign up for unemployment, welfare, food
stamps, section 8 housing and free cell phones.
I can see next year’s celebration already.   

Chicago, of course, will give him a 2100 gun salute - with live ammunition.

Illegal aliens will sponsor a gang rape contest (“Come one, come all, bring a few ”dates”.)

There’ll be a “Burn Baby Burn” festival of dumpster fires in the Union Park area and the
“Festival of Broken Glass” in the Ickes Prairie Homes area (enjoy the tinkling sounds of small
shards of glass!   Plenty of Free Stuff from Local Shops! Bring your own mask.)

And then, there’s the ever popular “Car Fires Smashathon,” which will be followed by the
“Local Roundup” and Paddy Wagon Carnival events – sponsored by outside Law Enforcement
Agencies, the National Guard, and various dispatched Sheriff’s Departments.

I know the schools won’t close (even though the demoncrats tried), but maybe they could
cater in some of those nourishing ’Michelle meals’.

Yeah, this should be great for Illinois. The state mal-administrators really have their priorities
straight, don’t they?

Seriously, though, I don’t really have a problem with Illinois doing this.

I mean, setting aside a day to mourn Obummer’s birth seems…appropriate.

So, I may celebrate by making little Obummer statues in the morning, in the bathroom, in the
toilet.   It’s simply art, pure and remarkable.   They’re quite tastefully honoring and clearly
representative of his accomplishments. (Better yet, the resemblance is absolutely uncanny.)

Come to think of it, an annual port-a-potty holiday would serve a greater purpose.  

April 1st would have been a better date, in my opinion.   But, I guess Illinois can have an
“August Fools Day” too.




H O M E
August 8th, 2017